Last

Tonight my smallest child went to sleep without a binky. She never ask for it. She never fussed. Never shed a single tear over it. She was just done. And I cried. Because that's what mamas do when they are happy... And when they're sad... And when they are a little bit of both.

We've been in perpetual babyhood for over seven years. If I were listening to my body instead of my heart, I probably would have stopped (Or at least taken a break) after our second daughter. Instead I went on to have a third. I have never, for even a second regretted that decision. But I knew the minute we found out she was a girl, I was done. I wrestled with myself over this for quite some time (Cause babies ahhh!), but deep down, I knew. I have treated every day since then like it is the last day I will have a child this young. I both held onto to the perfect amazing moments, and let go of the stress. I took precious pictures and got in ALL the snuggles. I played more, read more, loved more. Because soon it would be over. Being up all night, or up before the sun was no big deal with her. A fussy day was not the end of the world. Because soon it would be over. Something amazing happened. I learned how I want to live. Every day. For the rest of my life. Today was our last day of babyhood. It was a good day. Tomorrow will be good also.

If anyone is curious how I weaned her from her binky so super gently, I listened to my mother (always a good Idea in my experience). A couple of weeks ago, I got rid of every single binky except one (You could even keep a few), then I poked a hole in the top. She was a little iffy about it at first, but there were no other binkies as an option, so she went along with it. After that I snipped a teeny tiny super thin sliver off the tip every few days. Eventually, there just was't enough to hold onto very well. She got tired of it and stopped asking for it at all. Easy peasy. End of story. Thanks, Mama!